A New Start?

I used to be so social.  But now I've find myself as more of an introvert.  Unless the other person puts themselves out there first.  I guess I'm afraid of coming off as weird or annoying.  It's just self-consciousness, I guess.  At times it gets lonely, and I feel like a loser.  But other times it's really calming and relaxing.

I'm not the kind of person with a best friend.  I more so just have many good-ish friends.  But this presents a problem, because then I can never really hang out with anyone, because I don't particularly know anyone well enough to just be like "Hey, let's hang out!"  And this, I don't like.  There are actually quite a few friends of mine who are potential hang-out-with-me-ers, but I am afraid that if I invite them to hang out they will decline because they think I'm obnoxious.

I wish I was one of those girls who had a best friend.  You know... the best friends who are inseparable.  Who are with each other every second of every day.

Tonight my younger sister is camping with a girl who used to be one of my better friends.  I hate it when my little sister steals my friends.  She tends to do it a lot.  And I hate it.  So much.  But anywho, my mom suggested that I hang out with some of my friends, too.  So I texted three of my better friends.  Two of them never even replied, and the other already had plans.  I came to realize that, recently, I haven't hung out with friends much at all.  I mostly just sit alone in my room.  (Like I am doing so now.)  Last summer I went to a party like every other week... what happened?

People don't even invite me to things anymore.  I always see pictures of my good friends on Facebook hanging out with other good friends of mine and I'm like "Gee, thanks for inviting me."  The few times I have been hanging out with friends they always get phone calls and texts from people wanting to hang out;  I never get those.  Just kidding, that's a lie.  I received ONE of those calls this summer.  It was yesterday.  My friend Tori invited me to the fair.  But I couldn't go.  I don't have any money.  But I'm not that big a fan of the fair anyway, so whatever.

But this year I'm hoping to be more social again.

I'm going to be going to a new school.

It's kinda like a new start.

But not entirely.

Because I will still know quite a few people.

I just hope I make more friends.

Best friends.